4
Randall Rusling Smith
Randy, like his father, was very capable of doing things with his hands...using tools of every kind a good worker. He was physically strong, a good swimmer and well coordinated. Like his Dad he liked motorcycles and had one during his high school years. He had no interest in group sports...no, no, his fun was to be with a few friends enjoying individual activities such as riding bikes, hiking, fishing, skate boarding, etc. I will give you a brief report of Randy's limited life with the following list of what he did after graduating in 1969 from Sunset High at age 18.
He worked for almost a year and bought a pickup truck. The Viet Nam war draft numbers were drawn and Randy was No. 41. Randy volunteered for the Army in April, 1970. Army days: He graduated from Monterey's Ford Ord in July 1970, and was transferred to Aberdeen Proving Grounds in Maryland until graduation from the Machinist School in October. Next stop was Fort Hood in Texas as SP4 in heavy Equipment Maintenance. Randy had one month's leave in Spring of 1971 before leaving Washington State for Viet Nam. He was stationed in Phan Thiet H.H.C 864th Engineer Battalion, Third Shop, APO SF 96221. Randy returned from Viet Nam and was released from the Army just in time to be home on Christmas Day, 1971.
Back in civilian life he worked at Mathieu Arms in Hayward. He bought another car...a Dodge Coronet. He and his buddy Bill Gross moved to Roseburg, Oregon, where Randy worked in a machinist shop. There he fabricated a gift of some metal pieces he sent to us to be used when we built our home in Nevada City. Returning from Oregon, there began a series of necessity visits and stays in the Veteran Hospitals in Reno, Nevada, Menlo Park and Martinez, California. In Martinez VA Hospital Randy was given the sobering diagnosis of a limited life expectancy. We brought Randy to live with us until he found a nice rental in Nevada City. It was in June, 1979 when Randy's girl friend Debra Wise came to Nevada City following her release from U. C. Hospital in San Francisco where she had been for seven-week recuperation. Randy and Debbie were married in Reno in July. Their marriage was brief when Debbie died an unexpected, tragic death. This tragedy caused Randy's health difficulties to escalate. He died a few months later in February, 1980 at the Sierra Nevada Hospital in Grass Valley. Randy's death at the age of 29 was an unforgettable loss that haunts to this day. We never forgot Randy's gentleness of nature, his quick sense of humor, his quiet, pleasant demeanor and his many capabilities. He was a fine-looking, intelligent, capable young man of promise.
Moving from Hayward
1975 was a major series of events. Our friends Ed and Florence Whalin had moved permanently to Colfax when Ed retired. However, Ed...dear friend, said he would build a house for us, but first we would have to sell our home. (Here was another Serendipity and there were more to follow). A realtor in the Hayward Adventist Church we both now attended, offered to find a buyer for our home at only a 3 percent fee instead of the usual 6 percent. Wonderful friends! Dick and I designed our home. I drew the plans and built a model home so that we could visualize better moving from room to room. Our house sold for $36,000 and we thought the asking price was outrageously high. We had not been aware that Bay Area real estate was escalating rapidly then. Ed built our home in three months during winter months, even when it snowed. He consulted with Dick weekly with calls to clarify and verify all points. He was a wonderful contractor.
I turned in my resignation for June 30; my last day of work would be June 15, 1975. Then in late May, the weak, but important muscle in Dick's left bicep became increasingly weak and finally failed to function. He no longer could feed himself, use his keyboard, type, or dial the phone. He could just barely manage to control the drive switch on his chair. Simultaneously he ran a fever and was in pain. I admitted him to St. Rose Hospital Emergency in Hayward. He was hospitalized for three weeks very sick and weak, but no real diagnosis. June 15 he began to look better and could sit up for awhile. June 15 was my last day of work and the end of many years of happy working conditions. My work friends gave me an "office lunch" farewell party with a hear-warming humorous book of their creation. I learned that Dick, prior to his illness, had instigated and collaborated with a couple of my students, to create a very funny "biography" book of me.
My last day was very emotional, ending with bringing Dick home from the hospital. He was still weak but very eager to return home. The timing for this release couldn't have been better. We were scheduled to move out of our Hayward home and move to our new home on July 15...Could we do it? We did! On July 15 the movers arrived at 8:30 am. Dick and I left Hayward at 3:30 pm and drove non-stop to our new home arriving about 6 pm to find Ed and Florence Whalin awaiting us with a picnic supper. We wept. The movers didn't come until 8:30 pm and finished unloading 11,000 lbs. of belongings at 1:00 am. It was an unforgettable end of a wild, stressful month, but Serendipity was with us all the way. With Dick's loss of muscular function, the end of my working career couldn't have been timed better.
Now We Are In Our New Home
My experiences in moving are nothing compared with the stories I have heard from many of my friends, so I will only say that I learned a lot, worked a lot, rearranged a lot...and more. Maybe that is the reason I have made it plain to everyone I know that I hope and pray that I will remain in this home until I topple over dead.
One of our first needs was to find the location of the local Seventh-day Adventist Church to see if we could get in. We found the church in Grass Valley and I wheeled Dick to the front entry. I could lift the chair one step to the entry hall, but Ooops! that was filled with people and had no room for us. I backed out and returned to the parking lot. But following us on a trot were two very friendly fellows who insisted we should try another door. With their assistance, we found a space by the organ where Dick's chair fit nicely. This was our introduction to a wonderful Church Family...a cushion of comfort that has never failed.
To enlarge on this cushion of comfort I will tell you an abbreviated story of Dick's acquiring Six Daughters. What started as a joke was when Dick decided to adopt Sharon Malott for a "daughter." Sharon was the organist and was especially kind and attentive to Dick as he sat by the organ each Sabbath in his special location. About a year later, Dick fell out of his wheel chair on our driveway and broke his leg. A wonderful "nurse angel," Beverly Hagele, came to help Dick at this stressful time. Another "caring angel," Patricia Vixie, saw to it we had added help. These girls were mere acquaintances, but soon were adopted as daughters. Next, Dick had fun sparring with another nurse...caring, giving Carol Phillips with whom he loved to argue on various subjects. He adopted her as "Reb Carol daughter." Now he had four daughters. "Enough," he said. However, there came the time in 1985 I had to have an operation for endometrial cancer. My concern was not my operation but who could we get to take care of Dick. We had no suitable sources until another little known "angel" Pat Durden volunteered to live in our spare bedroom four weeks to supply Dick's 24-7 care needs. She became "Super Daughter." At this point dick had me design formal Adoption Papers to solidify his claim to his five Adopted Daughters! But Dick did not know he was going to have a miserable illness one winter. Coming to the rescue unannounced were new church members from Ohio, Dr. Ralph and nurse Phyllis Sawvell, giving us their kind assistance and guidance when desperately needed. Dick had stopped adopting daughters at five, but he had to have "nurse angel" Phyllis so she became "Plus One." Daughters supplied much joy to Dick's life and at his death were the team who managed everything; immediate presence the day Dick died, organizing and producing a wonderful Memorial Service for Dick. Now, I claim these daughters as MINE! These caring ladies grew to think of themselves as Sisters.
It was an unacceptable tragedy when Daughter Berverly Hagele was unexpectedly diagnosed with dreaded mezathelioma. Within one year the loss of our dear daughter and friend in 2006 was severely felt by everyone who knew this wonderful person.
But to move on to a more cheerful subject. I can tell you that our retirement years in this Grass Valley/Nevada City area were the happiest of our lives. We came here knowing no on and found a constant growing circle of friends. More Serendipity!
I will return to the subject of Dick's loss of the muscle in his left arm. It was not long before I figured out a harness that Dick could wear to support that left arm in a bent position. With his unimpaired upper-body movement, he had the leverage to pick up the right arm with the bent left arm and thus have use of the good finger on his right hand to dial phones, easily operate the movement of his chair, work his HAM equipment and type with one finger. He lost forever his ability to feed himself, but that was just one of the things that had to be accepted.
Dick never lost his ability to come up with new ideas. With the help of a neighborhood boy who had no carpentry skills, Dick instructed the boy to build a solarium on the sun-exposed south side of our precisely positioned house. (Dick had me chart the equinox while we lived in Hayward to be sure that this home would be provided with the best sun exposure when the house was built. Other learning projects for neighborhood boys were to build an enclosed entry to our front door, providing protection from snow and rain. Then Dick thought out an ingenious disappearing awning over the solarium that allowed the low winter sun rays to heat the solarium in winter months, yet kept high summer rays from creating excessive summer heat. Dick planned the little orchard of apple trees, plum tree, fig tree, prune tree and planned the whole garden's automatic watering system. In addition he mentally took care of our cars so that all I had to do was drive them. Dick may not have been able to use the tools himself, but his work bench was filled with every necessary tool or device needed and all were put to use either by me or handy boys.
We had been in our home three years when Myrna and Harold could retire and think of building their home next door. It was in the Summer of 1978 we had the pleasure of watching a new home being built. It was planned with a ramp on the front deck for Dick's access and there was a path arranged between our two homes. We two couples lived as happy neighbors until Harold's death in 1993 and Myrna's death in 2002.
There came a time when Dick learned of a company which converted Dodge Vans for handicap use. So with the purchase of this vehicle and more of Dick's innovations of ramp controls, wheelchair lock-down-devices and more, he was able to have his wheels-of-independence with him wherever we went. This relieved me considerably from a lot of extra muscle work. We could be more adventurous in our travels.
On a different subject I think I can tell you something, of which you would not be aware. When Dick became handicapped there were no public conveniences for handicapped people. Rarely were people with visible difficulties seen on the streets. They were pretty much invisible. There were few different styles of wheel chairs or other conveniences. We were close friends with two polio victims who went to Sacramento to lobby for sloping curbs, accessible public bathrooms, elevators, and many such needs that we take for granted now. Just as an example, I can remember Dick and I getting stuck many times on the sidewalks where I could not get him off a curb. Gradually the needs of handicapped were recognized. I think it might have been because of the needs of so many handicapped war Veterans as well as the polio victims. Whatever the case, the lives of handicapped people can now achieve some normality.
Our home was the center and focus of our existence. Because it was not easy for Dick to access others homes, we invited people here. I enjoy cooking so we entertained a great deal. I like to remember which people have different food preferences, which ones cannot eat certain things, who our guests were and what I fed them so, I have maintained a memory book. Last year I made a count of entertainment activities from July 1975 through December 2007: I served 649 groups with a guest-count ranging from 6 to 50. I haven't a clue just how many people were fed but we always had a good time.
There was a background reason too for inviting people to our home. You may be surprised at how many people do not know how to talk to anyone in a wheel chair. First assumption is that the person isn't quite bright or is deaf or unable to communicate. Then frequently, when I would be standing beside Dick, people might ask me such questions as, "Does he want to go to the bathroom?" "Does he need a drink?" Then people, with the best intentions of communicating, would talk to the back of Dick's head and he would have to try to recognize the voice. So, because of many human foibles I invited people to come to us to find out that we were normal people...except for Dick's wheelchair. Fortunately, Dick was not a sensitive fellow and was never offended.
It was about 12 years ago that we outgrew our old church on Alta Street and with the Lord's help a beautiful new church was built for our increased congregation. The new Church is in a beautiful location on Osborne Hill Road in Grass Valley. The sanctuary is outstanding, and there is a Fellowship Hall to accommodate hundreds, plus the best kitchen ever for team cooking. Our building costs were reduced with cooperative church members who worked hard. And the church was debt free in record time.
I had a personal sorrow in leaving the alta Street church because the two stained glass windows I had designed, had to be left behind. Pastor Wayne Young and his wife Vonnie were with us then, and later followed in two years by the arrival of Pastor John Alspaugh and his wife Loretta. Pastor Ed Wilson and his wife Kathy were with us at the Alta Street Church. It was under Pastor Wilson's guidance in 1977 that I started writing and printing our church's Valley Views newsletter. This job continued for 25 years, until Dick's breathing began to fail in 1995, when new editors have continued non-stop production.
I am convinced that the Adventist life style was responsible for the fact that Dick survived 46 years of paralysis. He outlived all of his many polio acquaintances. He was in good health until the last two years when he began to "not feel so good." He lived 44 years with just one-half of his diaphragm working but when his breathing began to fail, (and it is called "Polio Syndrome" when already weak muscles begin to fail) he required a face-mask breathing machine at night. Later his facial nerves rebelled with Trigeminal Neuralgia which caused intolerable pain when using the breathing face mask. He was hospitalized but wanted to come home and said he would not return to the hospital. He refused the thought of a fourth tracheotomy, (having had three before during his long hospital stay) because that would have meant tub-breathing again. Dick wanted to die and in three days he did. I was with him when he quietly stopped breathing. He died four days beyond his 75th birthday...on March 11, 1997...and a few days before our 48th wedding anniversary.
I am convinced that during the events of that final day, Angels surrounded me. Briefly here is a report: Dick had a disturbed night. His temperature had dropped to 91. He could not suck a straw for water. At 7 a.m. I was frantic: Dick did not want to return to the hospital! Should I call for an ambulance? I phoned nurse Beverly and she said to wait until 9 a.m. and talk to our Dr. Lowe. Dick died at 8:50 a.m. At 9:00 a.m. Stella, a Hospice nurse friend from the church, "just happened" to stop by. She verified that Dick had died. Stella took over. She phoned our Dr. Lowe. He accepted her verification....thus saving me from the process of proving by autopsy to the Sheriff I did not kill my husband since I was alone with hem when he died. (LAWS!!!) Then Stella phoned all six Daughters. All but one, who was working, were here within one hour and the sixth, was here before noon. Stella phoned the pre-arranged Funeral Director who came before noon to take Dick away for cremation. I did not phone the Home Medical Supply people, but they "just happened" by and took away the breathing equipment we had been renting. My sister was shopping and could not be reached by phone, but "just happened" to stop by. The Daughters and Myrna zoomed through the house eliminating Dick's special equipment and moving furniture to appear normal. Then in three weeks time they had organized a beautiful Memorial Service with receptionists, programs, ushers, music, speakers and testimonies, followed by a time for mingling of all guests and bountiful refreshments. The Daughters were marvelous!
Beginning a Different Life
I was inexperienced with "widowhood." I felt old at 78, and was a very worn-down widow. I was 1 year, 5 months older than Dick, and (in my mind) with Dick gone I had no reason or purpose to continue living. I would probably die in a couple of years. So, because we had not been able to travel!...I decided to try to see as much of the world as I could in my time left. How could I know I would live to tell this story eleven years following Dick's death. I feel blessed (more Serendipities!) to have seen and experienced so much. Because of the interests of others I wrote lengthy reports of my long tours and trips to give to friends and relatives. It was by chance my trip reviews opened a new interest...I was invited to publish my stories in our local newspaper, the Grass Valley Union, until in 2004 a new publisher discontinued the Saturday Travel Page.
My travels were varied. Rarely did I travel alone as it was much more pleasant to share experiences with a friend. I was happy that Myrna and I were able to travel together many times. Good neighbor friends, Hilda and Bob Joice, introduced me to a local tour group called "Over the Hill Gang" (later dignified with the title Road Runners.) With this group I was able to see much of our wonderful, scenic country. It was my practice to use professional travel agencies to give me the most comfortable means of seeing and doing. Here are the names of some agencies which provided great trips: Princess Cruises, Holland America Cruises, Norwegian Cruise Line, Grand Circle Tours, Collette Tours, Vantage Tours, Globus Tours and of course, Road Runners. (Audine lists only the big tours, but many of the one day, or few day trips had shown her much of California she hadn't known. The list of big tours extends from 1997 to an October Mediterranean Cruise to Italy, Greek Islands and Turkey).
2008 and Beginning Another Life Change
It was after returning from the Mediterranean Cruise that I said, "Audine, you are going to be 89 this year, so stop taking long, stressful trips. In addition to the 32 long trips, you have been on, you have taken 40 small trips of a week or less. So, slow down!"
I listened! No more big trips! I am not without other interests. It has been my pleasure over the years to paint oil pictures to give to relatives and friends. Now, however, I concentrate on water color paintings because I can have good prints made and share pictures with more people. (Oils are only one of a kind.) Entertaining continues to be another major interest. Then, not too long ago, I enlisted as a part-time volunteer at the local Hospice Thrift and Gift shop as a community service. I have always participated with duties at my Grass Valley Seventh day Adventist Church. As long as I am able I want to be of service in some way to friends, relatives, my church and community. As always I give Praise and Thanksgiving to my dear Lord for the blessings and "Serendipities" He has bestowed in making my life a fulfilled and happy one. audinesmith@comcast.net (Music /Winter Sonata-From The Beginning Until Now-December 22, 2010.)
Thank you for reading "Audine's Story"
