The Renegade
(An Owl's perspective)

And there I was in an old growth patch I couldn't make heads nor tails...The government map said Owl Habitat, but the sign said Timber Sales. They didn't agree, and it occurred to me that somebody had throwed me a curve. Cus I was either in a logger's paradise, or a dadgone owl preserve.

But by and by this bird flew up and he sat down on this limb. He didn't blink and I begin to think I could see an evil grin. Well, he sat right there with his regal stare said "Boy it's been decreed...that fair or foul I'm a Spotted Owl and these woods belong to me." He said "Now I've put up with you loggers...I figure that was just the breaks. But puttin' up with preservationists is just a little more than I can take.

They come armed with their tape recorders...They're blastin 'hoots' the whole night long. And from somewhere they got a wild hair they was playin' my matin' song.

Now I will concede, though it was indeed a Spotted Owl they was playin' alright...It was my old hen screechin' at me agin where the heck were you last night?'

And those idiots didn't play it just once...They played it a thousand times. I tell ya this endangered specie was in danger of losing his mind. Though I had to conclude, though it might be rude I was gonna have to stop that noise. Cus this old dad was a gittin' mad and I was ready to loose my poise.

But before I turned loose with my verbal abuse...this guy who was sittin' there... He grabbed a noose and I couldn't get loose I was tangled in their snare. I was bagged, and tagged and molested under every feather they pried. A transmitter pack was put on my back and they expected my to fly. But the added weight was a little too great and when they tossed me off the canyon wall that transmitter trick made me drop like a brick and I was droppin' like a bowlin' ball.

So away I flew a loosin' altitude until I finally dropped like a stone. I hit with a thump and busted my rump and ended up a walkin' back home. Well, I swore someday that I'd make 'em pay with a plan that would never fail. Now the courts have agreed, and I've got the deed...It isn't you... and it's up for sale.

Now I'm small in size but big in wise...Only an idiot would brag. I've got 2000 acres of the best there is and I'm livin' in a dadgone snag. So take a good look, and bring your check book. I assure you that I don't kid cus Wednesday morning at 10AM she's goin' to the highest bid. Yes, I'm a renegade that's run amok and things can be so sweet when I figured that my new habitat is a penthouse on Wall Street! Yes! I'm the preservationist's nightmare and in case they haven't heard... Now do a favor for me... (until they own RC) And I'll just give 'em the bird...