And
there I was in an old growth patch I couldn't make heads nor
tails...The government map said Owl
Habitat, but the sign said Timber Sales. They didn't agree, and it
occurred to me that somebody had throwed
me a curve. Cus I was either in a
logger's paradise, or a dadgone owl preserve.
But by and by this bird
flew up and he sat down on this
limb. He didn't blink and I begin
to think I could see an evil grin. Well, he sat right there
with his regal stare said "Boy it's been
decreed...that fair or foul I'm a
Spotted Owl and these woods belong to
me." He said "Now I've put up
with you loggers...I figure that was just the
breaks. But puttin' up with
preservationists is just a little more than
I can take.
They come armed
with their tape recorders...They're blastin 'hoots' the
whole night long. And from somewhere they got
a wild hair they was playin' my matin'
song.
Now I will
concede, though it was indeed a Spotted Owl they was
playin' alright...It was my old hen screechin'
at me agin where the heck
were you last night?'
And those idiots
didn't play it just once...They played it a thousand
times. I tell ya this
endangered specie was in danger of
losing his mind. Though I had to
conclude, though it might be rude I was gonna
have to stop that noise. Cus this old dad was a
gittin' mad and I was ready to loose my
poise.
But before I
turned loose with my verbal abuse...this
guy who was sittin' there...
He grabbed a noose and I
couldn't get loose I was tangled in their
snare. I was bagged, and
tagged and molested under every feather they
pried. A transmitter pack was put
on my back
and
they expected my to fly. But the added
weight was a little too great
and
when they tossed me off the canyon wall that transmitter trick made
me drop like a brick
and
I was droppin' like a bowlin' ball.
So away I flew a loosin'
altitude until I finally dropped
like a stone. I hit with a thump and
busted my rump and ended up a walkin' back
home. Well, I swore someday that
I'd make 'em pay
with
a plan that would never fail. Now the courts have agreed,
and I've got the deed...It isn't you... and it's up for
sale.
Now I'm small in
size but big in wise...Only an idiot would brag. I've got 2000 acres of the
best there is
and I'm livin' in a dadgone
snag. So take a good
look, and bring your check book. I
assure you that I don't kid cus Wednesday morning at
10AM she's goin' to the highest bid. Yes, I'm a
renegade that's run amok and things can be so sweet
when
I figured that my new habitat is a penthouse on Wall Street! Yes! I'm the
preservationist's nightmare
and
in case they haven't heard... Now do a favor for me... (until
they own RC) And I'll just give 'em the
bird...
