High expectations
During my youth, I had all kinds of life expectations to fulfill my time on earth. The idealist in me had very aggressive (and I guess unrealistic) projections which I began trying to accomplish after I finished high school back in 1949. I had planned to earn enough money to pay cash for my first home before I reached the age of 30. I planned to retire from working by the time I reached 50 years old. Was well on my way to the money for the home when Janey came along and marriage took a bite out of the silver lining.
Yes, plans do have a way of changing when two heads enter the arena and compromise is the key word in matrimony. I learned early on that the honeymoon is over when you cut the wedding cake. Your lifetime partner starts sharing the reins and for me it was very hard to relinquish the death grip I had on those leather straps that were guiding the buggy towards my dreams. Bull headed, set in my ways, stubborn were just a few of the ways to describe old Ken.
I am not very good at memorizing specific quotes, though I love using a lot of them. But there is one that has somehow permanently embedded itself in my mind. It goes: “Life is something that happens while you are busy planning for it” and those plans often take different directions.
About life, we start here, and we go there. But it's not that simple, is it? Our paths may be circuitous or direct. We may gaze excitedly ahead, or cast our eyes regretfully behind. Until we reach our destination it exists only in our own minds. It is what we have imagined it to be. And yet we tend to neglect the journey, which is real, in favor of the destination, which is not.
For too long I neglected the journey. It was an obstacle to be overcome, an ordeal to be endured because I had never chosen the journey, I had chosen the destination. But now that the journey is ending, I have discovered that where isn't so important after all. I find myself looking back with particular fondness for how I got here.
This is much like the pattern of my life and the choices I have made, too often I have chosen the destination rather than the journey. The journey is the life we have led and are now leading towards the destination we think we have chosen. Circumstances have a way of placing many detours in the path of our journey. Getting from point A to point B can take many twists and turns in life, much like many of the trails we enjoy on our travels.
My point is that I am sorry it took me so long to reach this time in my life where I can surrender to the journey. By being able to reach this compromise, I can now fully enjoy the destination. By taking the time along the way to stop and smell the roses, I find the journey to be so much more enjoyable. I am sure that my final destination will be the culmination of these many jogs and detours that have come my way, and I will deal with it at the proper time.
Many successful people plan their lives to the letter. And I mean they probably had a “to-do” list each and every day. I have nothing against it. I think it will help you maximize your day. I even once tried to follow this often recommended tip by the experts. The best I’ve been able to do as of now is to put my daily reminders once in a while on my wallet calendar. Which suits me just fine.
If you think the to-do list will put more order into your everyday life and you will feel better, by all means go for it ! For me though, honestly I don’t think I would enjoy my life very much if I rigidly scheduled each of my days ! It's just not me. I'd rather have random moments in my day that are totally out of my control. However, I do have plans for key milestones in my life. At least it gives me something to aim for and work for. Like what I want to be doing for instance when I reach the age of 90, or 100, etc…
I am now 80 years old and though I did not exactly achieve 100% of my original targets (I’m pretty sure that I've cumulatively earned that first million along the way. Question is, I’m not sure where it all went !), I could say I have other great things I am thankful for. Like my wife Janey and kids, my retirement, my health, etc…Life to me is really what you make of it along the way and when push comes to shove, I am content with the path we have followed so far.
Did I expect too much? Maybe but I have also learned to set my targets higher than my expectations and I will come closer to receiving my desires. Life is a fickle path promising you the rainbow and giving you the storm. Just remember after many storms there comes a rainbow.........Ken
